How do I obtain a family residence permit in a polyamorous relationship?
Friday 24 October 2025
Would you like to live with your partner in the Netherlands, but are you in a polyamorous relationship? Although the traditional requirement of an “exclusive relationship” was dropped in 2021, the practice of polyamorous applications remains difficult. How can you convincingly demonstrate that you are in a lasting relationship? In this article, experienced solicitor Charley Nieuwesteeg LL.M., partner at Orion Immigration Law, outlines how to do this, what pitfalls to avoid and how to maximise your chances of a positive outcome.
Since 2021, a residence permit is possible in case of polyamory
Until the end of 2021, residence on the basis of a polyamorous relationship was not possible under any circumstances. The Immigration and Naturalisation Service (IND) applied exclusivity of the unmarried relationship as a strict condition. An important ruling by the Council of State in 2021 (ECLI:NL:RVS:2021:2550) put an end to this: the exclusivity requirement for a residence permit on the basis of family reunification was contrary to the European Family Reunification Directive and has been abolished. This means that having multiple relationships no longer constitutes a direct obstacle to obtaining a residence permit, provided that a permit is only applied for one partner at a time.
In practice, this is still difficult
However, practice proves stubborn. Despite the ruling of the Council of State, applications from polyamorous couples are very often rejected. In addition, the IND often makes it seem as if the non-exclusive nature of a relationship is in fact still being used as a strict requirement. "Your partner has a relationship with [person 2]. Therefore, there is no lasting and exclusive relationship, and I must reject your application," could well be stated in a decision. Such reasonings make it difficult to discern how the IND actually view the 2021 ruling of the Council of State.
Durability of the relationship as a condition
A ruling by the District Court of The Hague on 9 September 2025 (ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2025:16640), in a case in which Charley Nieuwesteeg acted, now provides more clarity on how the IND intends to deal with polyamorous relationships. Just before this case was heard, the IND admitted unequivocally that it does not consider the non-exclusivity of a relationship to be an independent, strict condition, and that it therefore respects the 2021 ruling of the Council of State. However, in the case of a polyamorous relationship, the IND does expect thorough evidence of the durability of the relationship, which must be equivalent to a marriage. Important aspects in this regard are:
- A long-term and stable relationship
- Proof of a shared residential address
- Financial ties
- Other forms of legal or social interdependence (e.g. joint care for children or other family members)
Applying for a residence permit for your partner in a polyamorous relationship is therefore definitely possible, but it also requires thorough substantiation of the durability of your relationship.
How do you demonstrate the durability of your polyamorous relationship?
What supporting documents are relevant? First of all, every relationship is unique, and every application must be assessed on its own merits. Given the IND's uncooperative practice over the past years, it is advisable to be very thorough when preparing your application. To demonstrate the durability of your polyamorous relationship, you can submit the following supporting documents, among others:
- Joint residential addresses: Rental contracts, registrations at the same address, or other forms of evidence that you live together.
- Financial ties: Joint bank accounts, insurance policies, or other forms of financial dependence.
- Legal ties: A cohabitation contract or other legal agreements that formalise your relationship.
- Communication and social ties: WhatsApp conversations, photos, witness statements from friends or family, or other documents that demonstrate the serious nature of your relationship.
- Care for children or other family members: Do you share the care of children or other family members such as elderly parents or grandparents? By demonstrating this, you show that you are not just dating, but that you also share responsibility for family matters.
Pitfalls when starting proceedings against a rejection
Have you received a rejection in spite of your thorough preparation? And do you want to file an objection against it? It is advisable to engage a solicitor for this. There are several important pitfalls when appealing on this subject. What are the main pitfalls and how can you avoid them?
- Pitfall 1: Insufficient evidence of permanence In the ruling of the District Court of The Hague, the application was rejected because the relationship was considered to be “too new” and there was insufficient evidence of permanence. Make sure you have more than enough evidence that your relationship is long-term and stable.
- Pitfall 2: Ex tunc assessment Courts assess appeals based on the facts that were known either at the time of your application or during the objection phase. If your application is rejected and you wish to file an objection against that rejection, bear in mind that the objection phase is the last phase in which you can submit new, additional evidence.
- Pitfall 3: Obligation to organise a hearing In some cases, the IND is not obliged to invite you for an oral hearing, which is based on the contents of your objection letter. Therefore, make sure that you include all relevant information and additional evidence with your objection, so that the IND has a complete picture of your situation.
Practical steps for a successful application
What practical steps should you remember if you want to apply for a residence permit based on a polyamorous relationship?
- Step 1: Gather evidence Start by gathering all evidence that demonstrates the durability of your relationship. This includes rental contracts, bank statements, photographs, and witness statements.
- Step 2: Consult a solicitor A solicitor specialising in immigration law can help you make your application as strong as possible. Your solicitor will assess your evidence before the IND does, and can therefore make any necessary adjustments in good time. A solicitor will also assess the other residence conditions (such as having a stable income), is familiar with the pitfalls and knows which evidence is most convincing.
- Step 3: Submit the application, or have your solicitor do so. Ensure that you submit all the required documents and that your application is complete. An incomplete application may lead to delays or rejection.
- Step 4: Prepare for a possible objection or appeal If your application is rejected, you can lodge an objection or appeal. Here too, it is advisable to engage a solicitor.
Conclusion: a family residence permit in case of a polyamorous relationship is possible, but requires thorough preparation
It is possible to apply for a residence permit for your partner in a polyamorous relationship, but this requires careful preparation and strong evidence of the sustainability of your relationship. By gathering sufficient evidence and consulting a solicitor, you can significantly increase your chances of a successful application.
Charley Nieuwesteeg LL.M.
Charley Nieuwesteeg LL.M. is a partner and co-founder of Orion Immigration Law. She advises both business and private clients on simple and complex applications for residence and work permits. In addition to her advisory practice, Charley has also gained extensive experience in litigation before the courts and in handling appeals before the Administrative Law Division of the Council of State.
